That abuse is not severe, but it is relentless, and much more easily escalates to actual hate that even the most recalcitrant misogyny.
Don’t blame feminists for not analyzing the downside of the male role, or for not having properly addressed it within themselves. They naturally have their own stakes in mind, not yours. But ignore them when they try to stop you from doing the same. Because this goes back centuries, millennia, before the first extensive patriarchies existed, to when we decided it was the male role to handle wars. And insisting upon ignoring it is getting worse as the world gets more polarized, less respectful, more arbitrary and less honest.
Because the majority of the entire society hates men. Men are motivated to judge other men harshly because they are motivated to be more competitive and disrespectful, which involves othering your enemy, and the legacy of war is that men judge anonymous groups of other men the way their leadership tells them to, generally with distrust. Women are motivated to judge other women more leniently, and to be suspicious of men, and are quadrupling down on the idea men are just more often horrible human beings. Some feminism opportunistically feeds that, but they surely didn’t create it. Once you have those leanings, you start devaluing men as human beings.
Why cant a narcissist admit when they are wrong?
This is not just about women, much less just about feminists. This is “the downside of patriarchy” in feminist terms and “the legacy of being a protector” in conservative terms. Men have a longstanding gender role, and being the first targets for abuse is a part of that role. Abuse cultivates hatred. Women will insist otherwise, but they can only do so by ignoring history. The penalty for men abusing women has always been more severe than their punishment for abusing one another or for women perpetrating any kind of abuse, at least on average. Whatever mythology feminists may advance for things like the acceptance of domestic violence, those are just lies, or they exist individually, but not as a trend.
Measures of unconscious bias consistently display the same thing.
Look at our vocabulary of abuse. I can’t reasonably call a woman publicly by the name for her genitals. If I used the actual word here, I would probably be reported. But I can call someone a dick, a prick, etc. fairly lightly. The strongest terms of abuse have male gender added onto them just for good measure: someone who has penetrative sex with your mother is clearly male, we aren’t all making some obtuse reference to pegging; when we call someone a donkey, it is a male donkey by preference; we refer more lightly to the sons of dogs than to the dogs themselves; when we reference masturbation it is wanker or jerk(off), and that is pointedly male masturbation…. Even very mild insults are pointlessly male-oriented — someone who sucks, sucks something that women are thanked, not denigrated for sucking, so this is clearly about gay men… It is endless.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
